Louder is not deeper
On what I call the "compassion ripple effect" — Day 17 of 100
“I would like to dedicate this to the beautiful chaos that is a mother’s heart.” — Jessie Buckley at Oscars 2026
“You cannot be a mother and have children and give 100% to your job. There’s a part of you that’s somewhere else. You split into different pieces.” — Ellen Pompeo on Call Her Daddy
The stone hits the water. These two women have started a ripple effect for me this week. Their celebrity platform and their art make the ideas of motherhood louder. Millions of people have either watched Jessie’s acceptance speech or listened to Ellen’s podcast interview.
But seeing and hearing is one thing; it is not automatic compassion. Louder is not deeper. So how does someone actually move through the water, ripple by ripple?
The first ripple reaches for feeling. Perhaps a sensation in the body. Does it make someone feel something?
Then the second ripple arrives at understanding. A clicking of sorts in the mind. Does it shift how someone understands something?
And the third ripple settles into change. A change of heart—of perspective. Does it actually change how someone moves through the world?
Finally, the ripples dissipate. The water settles. In this stillness, I am present in my own uncertainty. As an everyday woman, an everyday mother, I wonder how the stone hits the water—all the time. And whether it starts a ripple effect through my lived experience, my writing, my sharing…
Experiencing a life-altering pre-term birth and NICU stay
Mothering a child with complex medical needs
Being laid off and having the privilege to take a power pause
Arriving here to process and metabolize everything
Which ripple do you land in?
This is Day 17 of 100. Read the beginning here.